How to Stay Elegant in Summer

If you’ve been to Shanghai in summer, you know what I’m talking about:

Temperatures easily climbs above 40°C, but that’s not even the worst part.

The worst part is the humidity.

The streets turn into open-air saunas, and the shades don’t help.

Makeup takes 20 minutes to apply, but melts in 2.

Women are dressed like Muslims and men carry umbrellas.

God forbid the sun touches your skin — you’ll combust like a vampire.

That being said, summer is still my favourite season, even in Shanghai. It’s bright, sensual, and somehow nostalgic while it’s still happening. And I get to walk barefoot at home and wear my favourite crop top.

But staying cool in the heat is a challenge — let alone staying chic.

Here are ten tips for surviving the scorching Shanghai summer like a cool girl:

1. Right before heading out, blast the AC until you’re on the brink of frostbite. That way, stepping into the sun feels almost like a relief. You’ll have about five minutes before the suffering begins.

2. If umbrellas feel uncool — and they do — wear a wide-brimmed hat that shades you from head to toe. Ride a horse to complete the look.

3. Ditch your handheld electric fan. It screams desperation. Use a good old feathered fan instead. It’s elegant, and doubles as a flirting tool.

4. Carry two handkerchiefs: one for yourself, and one to wipe off the sweat stain your fellow passenger left on the metro seat.

5. Wrap your pet snake around your neck for an extra touch of natural coolness. It’s fashion and function.

6. If you’ve ever wanted to try the wet-hair trend, now is the time.

7. Stay hydrated.

8. Move as little as possible. This includes facial expressions. No smiling. Smiling uses muscles. Muscles generate heat.

9. Periodically sniff your armpits to make sure no embarrassing odeur is building up.

10. When you’re about to lose your cool, close your eyes and visualise the coldest place you’ve been, and repeat the mantra: “Ice. Breeze. Bamboo sheets. Polar bear sits at my neighbour’s seat.”